If I can get pulled over twice in one night WALKING home (funny story-ask me some time) then I’d hate to calculate your odds of driving home this New Year’s.
Every night there are ads on TV about the evils of drinking and driving. The ads warn about how the police are cracking down.
So how do you tell if you are too drunk to drive? Here are some sure-fire signs. I hope this helps.
• You can't decide which steering wheel to use.
• You want to drive with your lights off so the cops won’t see you
• You get into an argument with your answering machine.
• The bouncer suddenly looks really hot.
• You have trouble speaking clearly. "Hi" comes out as "Wanna fuck?"
• You don’t recognize any of your friends in your cell phone.
• You have someone else’s cell phone
• You can't remember where you parked your car.
• You can't remember what a car looks like.
• You catch yourself singing karaoke, and enjoying it. :)
• You just spent an hour chatting up a cigarette machine.
• It's taken you an hour of yelling, throwing stuff and a near knife fight to realize that you and your friend have been in total agreement all along.
• It takes you another hour to realize that wasn’t your friend at all.
• You can’t find your left hand
• You drunk dial your mother
• You drunk dial MY mother (you bastard!)
Happy New Year! Take care everybody and be safe!
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